Saturday, 7 October 2017
12 LESSONS I'VE LEARNT IN MY FIRST 12 MONTHS OF MARRIAGE
My husband and I recently celebrated our first wedding anniversary on the 1st of October, 2017. We said "I DO" to each other on the 1st of October 2016 and are now blessed with a son we dedicated in the house and presence of God on that day of our first wedding anniversary. For me, it's been one year of learning, unlearning and relearning each other. We've fought, made up, loved up, carried 'shakara' faces for each other, apologised, surprised each other and of course stuck with each other through thick and thin. We didn't really court each other for so long as ours is a story of a couple who just knew they were meant to be from the word GO and 'pronto' just set to the altar immediately. So in as much as our marriage is still young, at least we have gleaned some level of experience, wisdom and maturity, hence can say to an extent that we could offer advice to newbies or intended couples. So let's go:
1. Marriage is not for the immatured and unprepared.. It's WORK and SERIOUS BUSINESS.
2. It is not a must that an intending couple to go through the rigours of long dating and courtship before they can enjoy a loving long lasting marriage. My husband and I didn't and it worked out best for us.
3. Mutual respect and submission is a MUST for both man and wife if the course of the marriage is to run smoothly.
4. Woman: Tame your tongue and Man Curtail your ego.
5. Family and parental influence will rudely invade and try to seperate the bond and foundation of your marriage, so watch out and resist it together
6. Both of you are a team so never take sides with anyone but your spouse in case of an open family disagreement in which your spouse is involved.
7. Never and I mean Never discuss your spouse's shortcomings with anyone even your immediate family (both parents and siblings or friends). You will forgive and recover from and probably forget the hurt but THEY WONT. Learn to mind your language to your spouse before them. Learn to be your spouse's greatest encourager.
8. Every successful marriage starts small and progresses to greatness to learn to compromise, relax and enjoy your early years together of humble beginnings. They make up great memories in the future. Learn to read the mood of your spouse and know when they need their personal space a bit.
9. SEX AND INTIMACY IS VERY IMPORTANT. Infact I look forward to our makeup sex after we get into it. Never hoard yourselves of each other even after the children start coming if you want the marriage to always remain spicy and interesting.
10. Make your spouse your ride or die. Your only constant in life after Christ.
11. You See PRAYERS., You must make it your daily mutual watch word because the devil adversary is out against marriages. So build a spiritual hedge of protection over yours with prayers.
12. Communication, Trust, Patience, Faithfulness and Forgiveness and Tolerance must be practiced by both of you daily.
Marriage is work so never neglect your home/marriage. NEVER PUT YOUR MARRIAGE ON AUTOPILOT. YOU MUST BOTH WORK IT OUT DAILY ELSE IT MAY CRASH!